being in china makes me feel like a jellyfish

on floating in a sea of complicated feelings

art from my soulKening ZhuApril 26, 2024travel diaries, daily moods

end of the menstrual cycle mood

thinking about living in alignment with the menstrual cycle

wellbeingKening ZhuJuly 25, 2023daily moods, menstrual cycle

feeling like a dehydrated desert flower

recent notes from the inner world

Kening ZhuJuly 19, 2022daily moods, life notes

oceanic traffic jam in my head

the feeling of psychic constipation

Kening ZhuJuly 6, 2022daily moods

the feeling of interseasonal fatigue

not feeling uninspired, but too tired to chase and catch inspiration

art from my soul, notes on the journeyKening ZhuMarch 31, 2022daily moods, uninspired, interseasons

the opposite of feeling inspired

like waking up drugged and hungover, except not in the body, but in the soul

the feeling of being safe

the feeling of being with someone who makes you feel safe

art from my soulKening ZhuMarch 1, 2022daily moods

the sound of a nuclear alarm in my brain

only one person can get under my skin like this

Kening ZhuFebruary 17, 2022daily moods, animated, anxiety

pms feels like this

like i don’t even have the patience to draw a proper picture

Kening ZhuDecember 4, 2021daily moods

the exploding island of my heart

on days when i feel bad i draw pictures of what is happening inside of me, and then somehow, inexplicably, i feel better.

Kening ZhuNovember 2, 2021daily moods, kening in love, dark places, animated

you make me feel like a ghost to myself

don’t tell me this is love.

Kening ZhuOctober 28, 2021daily moods, self portraits, dark places

a seaview over the abyss

i remember this feeling, this place - a dark place - but this time i’m standing on a sea cliff looking down at the abyss, rather than drowning inside of it. but even if i were to fall down again, i know how to climb up.

Kening ZhuOctober 27, 2021dark places, daily moods

solitude on a desert beach

mood of the day: solitude on a desert beach, remembering how it is possible to be not (physically) alone, yet still very lonely — and how true aloneness feels sometimes like a salve.

Kening ZhuOctober 26, 2021daily moods, solitude

the feeling of a desert flower

mood of the day oct 24

Kening ZhuOctober 24, 2021daily moods

blowing bubbles into my heart

Kening ZhuOctober 23, 2021daily moods, kening in love

the birds of my heart are eating out of his hand

honey and walnuts

Kening ZhuOctober 22, 2021daily moods, kening in love

there are dark holes everywhere

these months i am existing in a terrain of my life which is full of dark holes — each varying in depth, gravitational pull, and intensity. they feel like bombs scattered throughout time and space, triggered by anything: a tiny fragment of memory, a thought, an image. I could step on a crack, fall in, and be incapacitated for hours. like a ghost of myself.

Kening ZhuSeptember 18, 2021dark places, daily moods

dark bird presence

have you ever seen - or felt - the presence of dark birds flying at night? they are a flutter of black wings. nearly silent. almost like black butterflies. when I lived in rural japan during the first lockdown, I’d walk to the lake at night and sit by the docks, watching their shadows. sometimes they scared me, becuse I could barely see their wings. only vague silhouettes.

Kening ZhuSeptember 16, 2021spirit animals, dark places, daily moods

eleven dark moons | a mood journal

here is a log of 11 days of my life - painted as daily moons. it holds the days between august 30 2021 and september 12 2021 - which were not quite the worst days of my life (the weeks preceding it were far worse), but in the vicinity of it.

Kening ZhuSeptember 12, 2021moon journal, daily moods, moon

smoked in my head

Kening ZhuAugust 12, 2021daily moods, dark places

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