the opposite of feeling inspired
the most primitive drawing i’ve done in ages.
mood journal
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i’m not sure what caused it - the opposite of feeling inspired - but I will write about what it feels like:
it feels like waking up drugged and hungover, except not in the body, but in the soul. it feels like having taken too much melatonin for the psyche-mind, and struggling to summon the motivation to do anything: daily rituals. shower. leave the house.
in this rendition, it’s not so much a dryness, as much as a heaviness. a feeling of immense inertia, of being barely awake - as though your psychic being were weighing a thousand pounds. your mind just wants to nap. it struggles to see beauty, possibility, anything life-giving; anything which inspires creation. it is a feeling of whole-being lethargy.
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when i’m feeling this way, it helps me to name it - to give spaciousness around this feeling. to find some distance - and simultaneously - self-compassion.
it helps not to expect anyone else to ameliorate this feeling, except myself. to trust in the metabolism and regenerative powers of the creative spirit.
perhaps it’s a deeper signal of needing: rest, spaciousness. an allergic reaction to other people’s energy. perhaps it’s just a monday feeling.
in any case: who says we need to feel inspired ALL the time? this is what I remind myself of, everyday: that no feeling is final. the only way past feelings — good or bad — is through it.