how to let go of bad days with creation
letting go of bad days by getting lost in the process of art
after a few days of bad scorpio weather, yesterday I went to daikon dad’s house to make gourd art. three hours later, I walked home in the golden light of the setting sun over rice paddies, and my heart felt completely transformed — joyful, full, and in love with life again. it was like taking a psychic bath — to submerge myself so completely and entirely in the process of creation that I’ve forgotten my abyss of ills.
the secret of letting go of dark things is not about unclenching your hand, but finding something more beautiful worth holding.
today I wake up feeling almost on center again. the art of forgetting is a skill (to be written about another time) — especially when I am so good at remembering. but part of the surrender inherent in the process of life (and creation) is the ability to lose yourself completely to something outside of yourself. to find union, and become one with it.
that something could be:
words / language
a musical instrument
a surface to draw on
another human body
the grass
the sea
something edible
the mountain
a book
sound
actually, the list is infinite. it can be anything. something tactile is useful if the mind/heart is feeling harsh and scary - but it doesn’t have to be tactile. meditation is a form of surrender to the mind, of daring to explore its darkness. to surrender to music is to truly listen to every note, every harmony, and every drop of silence in between.
so, it also doesn’t have to be about creation or expression. to get lost in a book, or in learning a language — is simply allowing yourself to become a sponge, to absorb fully.
but to absorb fully, you have to empty yourself first. and we are complex vessels that need daily emptying. maybe one day in the future, my emotional waters will be more serene, and I won’t even fill up with dark things to empty. but in the meantime, this is the practice. to have such utter absorption and focus that I have no choice but to empty. and begin again.
I let go, and I become that thing which I’m experiencing. and then I feel reborn.
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I’m putting my gourd process pictures here so you can see. I got so lost in this gourd-making that within five minutes, I felt like a completely different person.
