tarot work diary no. 9 | ace of swords, wheel of fortune, ten of swords
this is my tarot work diary, an intuitive contemplative practice for art and business, guided by the cards.
embracing the cycles of change
with a sharp, discerning mind
my pull this week is an invitation into using the power of the intellect to embrace the changes I'm going through.
a summary distillation
- ace of swords -- truth as creative power
- wheel of fortune -- awareness of/through change
- ten of swords -- releasing an inventory of pain
ace of swords - truth as creative power
this card is a story about the power of truth, discernment, and intellectual, story-making potential of the linguistic mind to shape reality.
for a very long time, I was always afraid of drawing swords cards -- they felt rife with loss and seemed to always point me towards dispelling illusions and romantic fantasies. each swords pull felt like a sign that I was lying to myself. this probably says more about my deepest fear: of being so inside my own illusion that I'm no longer able to discern my sense of truth. where does truth live, if not within? and if I can't trust what's within, what can I trust, at all?
this isn't how I feel about swords, now. time has helped me hone my sense of what's true for me -- what I won't tolerate, what I hold as sacred, and what I believe is possible -- and those truths feel firmly rooted in my reality. I'm no longer stuck in loops of constantly second-guessing myself, and I no longer struggle to discern the difference between intuitive knowing, and fear-based anxiety. these days, I do live in a reality I've deliberately woven together -- in my inner world, and materialized in my physical life. it feels very true to me.
the Ace of Swords feels like an invitation for me to wield the power of my truth -- both in sharing it with others, no matter how sharp or contrary it might seem -- and to continue using its power to discern and cut away the beliefs, thoughts, and stories that no longer serve me in my creation of my realities.
after all these years of being afraid of the Swords -- the intellectual power of the mind in telling stories, forming truth, speaking reality into existence -- I'm learning now to integrate and embrace its creative power. I'm asking myself: what can I let go of, and cut away from my energy with the power of the sword -- in order to more deeply embody my own truth and reality?
wheel of fortune - awareness of/through change
the wheel of fortune, like the hierophant, is one of those esoteric cards that feel so mysterious and yet, essential to my life journey. it's the number (10) that lives at the center of my Matrix of Destiny -- representing my core arcana and what I need to do for my soul to stay content. the answer feels very clear.
the wheel of fortune is about embracing the cycles of change. in my life, stability was always a hard won thing for me -- I've learned, instead, to claim a stability which is dynamic, because there's nothing like a state of stagnation and stuckness that makes me feel imprisoned, and miserable.
for the last decade, I feel like I've been on a Scorpionic journey of continually dying, and being reborn. the wheel of change invites me to contemplate this process from another perspective. whereas before, these deaths and rebirths felt extremely forceful and violent; like continually falling down from the Tower -- the wheel of change offers me the calm, cool detachedness of perspective.
the moment I'm able to see the wheel itself is when I'm no longer lost in the crashing and falling -- but instead, I have a choice to understand exactly where I am on this cycle, and explore how I can continue to move through it with greater awareness and consciousness.
these days, I've been practicing greater awareness of my own cyclical rhythms, particularly as it relates to the menstrual cycle and seasonal shifts. I'm also learning to deconstruct growth as not something linear, accumulative, or steady -- but instead, a swinging movement through these cycles.
where am I on this cycle, now? I think -- yet again, in that liminal space of death/rebirth. I'm letting go of what my ego thinks it needs, in order to venture more deeply into what my soul desires.
I'm feeling inspired to, some time later, draw my own "wheel of fortune" to represent the different phases that I'll continue to move through, in order to be more conscientious in each part of the phase.
ten of swords - releasing an inventory of pain
I've read interpretations of this card as being not about the act of suffering or death -- but the mind's interpretation and stories about that suffering.
as with last week's pull, I feel like this card is yet another invitation into shadow work: taking stock of the thoughts, beliefs, and internalized experiences that have contributed to a (sometimes unconscious) feeling of defeat, failure, or futility.
it feels like what comes in the moments before -- and after -- death. that is: a deep grappling with the shadow beliefs and resistance that hold me back from change and movement. it is the act of writing down and examining the ten swords in the body -- as a conscious way to release them. before I can let go of anything (narratives, blockages, anything that doesn't serve my desired evolution), I must look at it.
the message
this week's pull is about embracing the continuous cycle of change (that is, a core part of my destiny) -- through the power of the intellect, language, and narrative -- to deliberate construct and dismantle truth. the wheel of fortune is in the center of my pull, while Ace of Swords represents the beginning (and rebirth) and Ten of Swords represents the end (and death) in this journey.
the questions it leaves me with:
- where am I, right now, on the cycle of change?
- what reality or truth do I wish to construct?
- what reality or truth do I wish to allow die?