a personal hierarchy of life elements
on what to take care of in your life, and in what order
every now and then I get confused about life and adrift in the ocean of emotions, and I have to remind myself what I’m doing in this world. but I have to begin with the basics — how to take care of my body, and my emotional wellbeing, before I can figure out how to work, how to create meaning and beauty, how to contribute to the world, how to expand and grow into my highest self.
being an adult is fun and hard, and occasionally we are all very bad at it. this is why you see a lot of incompetent adults causing harm on the world, and on each other. this is why self-care is not an option — it is a must-do. otherwise you run around with a battery leaking energy, and end up causing a lot of unintentional harm on others. not to mention, waste your life.
so, let me explain my hierarchy:
First tier elements: sleep, eat, and exercise — balancing body energy
this is the soil in which everything grows, and very often we neglect this soil because we are so disembodied— disconnected with ourselves. but can you believe that so many of your problems seem much more manageable when you are fully charged, fully present, fully grounded in yourself? because the physical bleeds into the emotional/mental, and is the basis for feeling empowered.
how much sleep do you think you need, versus how much does your body really need?
what kind of diet — and how often — do you need to eat in order to feel nourished, energized, and satiated?
what kind of exercise — and how often — do you need to feel grounded, energized, and released?
nothing can grow in this garden unless the soil is properly nourished, and the water is being absorbed. are you giving yourself enough water?
Second tier elements: meditation and journaling — balancing emotions & inner world
so many problems in the world begin at the individual level: because we are too disconnected with ourselves. we are out of touch with what we really want, how we truly feel, what would actually satiate us, what resources we need — and instead we fall into social conditioning, or the traps of our social media feeds.
ultimately, the problem of disconnection with ourselves comes from fear — we are afraid of facing ourselves. our demons, our emotions, our impulses. we are afraid of what we might find. so, the second tier elements are practices to bring us closer to ourselves, and the voices that we are so afraid of facing.
meditation is the process of daring to sit in a room alone with yourself. daring to close your eyes, and get to know your internal world — as if you’re a hiker embarking on a trek through the wilderness.
journaling is the process of facing yourself on the page, and working through pain deliberately and calmly.
that’s it. I cannot emotionally survive a week without these two practices. this is the stem: what grows from a grounded physical being, and what supports the flower.
Third tier elements: meaningful work in the world
after the second tier, I put the things that I give energy to.
my meaningful work is my art and my business, which completely overlap and feed each other, but also useful for me to think about separately. once I feel nourished and well, then I can think about how I want to best use my potential and gifts in context of the outer world.
work is the flow between inner and outer worlds — the exchange of energy and value between yourself and “the other” — which could be a company, private clients, or an audience. in my art, I’m focused on creating from my uninhibited essence. in my business (client work and products), I find the convergence between my gifts and what the people I want to serve need. as an artist, the idea is to converge the two to build: make art that is essential to people’s lives.
Fourth tier elements: pursuits, passions, and people — enriching experiences
there is where your pyramid might differ from mine — but I feel like I cannot give my full attention to relationships, passions, and pursuits unless I’ve nourished my work and art. the things at the top of my pyramid are either experiences in my outer world or enriching passions and pursuits.
things in my list:
relationships and people
travel
dancing tango
learning languages
reading books
music
various non-work related projects
because some of these elements (like relationships) are external to me, it would be too easily for these elements to dictate my life. then I have to remind myself to be centered on what is me, and how to begin with caring for me and my world.
whenever I feel out of balance, I can look at my pyramid and identify what I’ve neglected. your pyramid might look different — if you make something of your own, write me and tell me about it. I’d love to see.