the dark jungles of my mind

in the midst of this sugary italian summer, I crashed after the high, and lost myself in the dark jungles of my mind. or more accurately — I stopped tending daily to that exquisite garden of my psyche, so all the plants became bushy and overgrown, all the petals withered, the vines grew sharp thorns and started choking the trees. the animals became restless and began to attack each other. the bird nests fell from the canopy and scattered over the garden floors, until you could see no ground and no sky — only swarms of mosquitos, and everywhere, a thick haze of delusions, and dark shadows.

what does it take to escape this jungle? can we ever truly leave the inner spaces of our psyches? can we run away from the shadows? or must we force ourselves to return there, go there, sit there, even if it’s very unpleasant, and begin (yet again) the hard work of facing ourselves, of transforming a jungle back into a garden?

I’ve been to this jungle more times than I can count, and when I’m there, it’s hard to recognize that this is the same place which used to be my exquisite garden. the same world where I felt connected to my soul, my intuition, my earth, my flow.

what do you do when you feel unrecognizable — to yourself?

perhaps the first thing you must do — is to simply accept that you are here. to become reacquainted with this place, to hold it in your mind, acknowledge your here-ness, instead of resisting.

and then, maybe you simply show up to face yourself, and begin cleaning, clearing, creating more space in the inner space, more spaciousness inside yourself. maybe it’s about showing up everyday, consistently — for five, seven, ten days in a row, even if you don’t feel like it. doing the things which nourish you, feed you, help you meet yourself — day after day, and observing what happens to this jungle.