seeing the gifts from life

gifts are always there, if we choose to see them.

*

after suffering months of self-induced violent drama and scorpionic tsunami weather, I’m finally able to look back and count all the gifts I received from the universe — experiences which didn’t look or feel like gifts at that time, but now, I know that they are.

and the gifts are always there — disguised in the forms of people, experiences, challenges —

• things strangers said to me

• teachings and lessons

• inner processes

• growing pains.

but gifts like this always need translation. I have to interpret them myself. read the messages myself. it is not a matter of asking for more gifts, but tuning my eyes to see each gift more clearly. everyday. it is a matter of seeing more clearly.

and of course, those gifts did not always taste sweet at the time. they are also bitter, and salty, and spicy, and some so astringent that I could barely hold them in my mouth with my eyes open. for that too, I say thank you.

what would it be like to live each day as though it were full of gifts?

as though everything were a gift? to live in the act of discovering?

I would live with my heart and my hands so open — always giving and being given to by an unknowable force. I would live with my ear pressed against the earth, open to receiving magic, open to hearing messages from the universe, open to the essence that is this life. I would always be smiling, even when I am crying, smiling at the exquisite joy and beauty of all this.