head static: am I doing enough?
this episode of head static is courtesy of: your mind radio FM, where we bring light and air to the tapes playing in our heads.
“am I doing enough?”
am I doing enough is actually a multi-part head static question, because the logical follow-up is:
“doing enough for what, exactly?
head static says:
am I doing everything I could possibly be doing — in order to make sure that I’m on the right path to safety/money/validation/status/acceptance by my peers and community and family, am I doing enough to deserve to rest, am I doing enough to feel proud of myself, at ease in my body, am I doing enough to ease my anxieties about the future and feel like my past was not totally a waste of time; am I doing enough that I can just be and exist here and now, in my body, instead of making frantic to-do lists and planning as a coping mechanism for uncertainty? am I doing enough to not fall behind? am I doing enough to deserve to be paid for it? am I doing enough to deserve to be loved, and seen, and heard?
the answer to this question is:
well, I could always be doing more.
this is why this is a head static question — rather than a generative question — because no matter how much you do, this question sets you up for the feeling of insufficiency. this question is a prison that keeps you trapped in the feeling of not-enoughness; incompletion, lack —
why clean out this head static
“am I doing enough?”
first, let’s break it down.
“Doing” assumes that your worth, value, and success is a direct result of what you do or don’t do — rather than who you inherently are. in other words, the deeper engrained belief might be, “unless I do XYZ, I am undeserving of love/worthiness/success/money.” by focusing on doing, you’re stuck in a trap of constantly trying to earn the feeling of enoughness. as in, if I just work hard enough, then it’ll be enough.
“Enough” is a nebulous metric with no answer. when do you know if something is enough? who decides what is enough? is enoughness something externally measured, something that you earn?
there is a difference between looking at specific needs — vs. blanketing oneself with the feeling of “not enough.” when I find myself in this insuffiency trap, it’s crucial that I take a step back to clarify “what do I need to work on” without it being tied to a feeling of “if I don’t do this, then I’m not enough…” focusing on the “enoughness” means you’re constantly living in vague distant future. you’re waiting upon the condition of you working hard enough — in order to feel deserving of good things… and this question ensures that it’s an impossible standard you’ll never reach.
static clearing
I know that this question is so deeply engrained in me — that it’ll take conscious, deliberate effort to clear the static and let go of the mind habit.
it begins with sensing into the enoughness / worthiness of your own creative being — independent of what you do, or don’t do. as in: you don’t have to work to earn the feeling of enoughness. you can just be yourself — and be deserving of good things. it is the focus on being and feeling worthy — rather than working hard to earn worthiness.
mantras — I am enough, here and now. my work is enough, exactly as it is. I swim in a feeling of gentle sufficiency. I welcome abundance things into my world.
reflection questions
how does it feel in your body when this head static plays on loop, “am I doing enough?”
if the answer was YES — what would that feel like?
can you describe that vibration of enoughness - what does it feel like?
what mental or bodily shifts can you experiment with — to conjure it consciously?