energy studies: an ongoing practice

 

this is the first entry of a new series on energy studies.

I've been feeling a inner pull to write about energy. and by write, I mostly mean: commit to exploring, out-loud, in public. I'd like to investigate what energy is, how to sense into it, and how to cultivate a deeper relationship with it, and then, how to most effectively channel it into the world -- in both art and business -- with a bit more ease, effortlessness, and grace.

in this post, I'll explore:

  • why energy is the most important thing
  • what is energy, exactly?
  • my personal experiences with energy
  • energy as a living entity inside of me
  • questions I'd like to investigate
 

why I believe energy is the most important thing

energy is my word of 2024.

there are moments in which I'm convinced that energy mastery is, above all, the most important skill you could possibly learn, even as pre-requisite to learning how to use the creative force.

why?

because energy is the raw fuel that comes before channeling the creative force, before making art, building business, digital worlds, making money, or pursuing new opportunities. energy lives in the un-manifested -- it belongs to the stuff of visions, dreams, and unborn potential. energy is the water you wade in. the air you breath. the ground you plant seeds in. energy will affect the success or failure of a project, more than anything.

and, energy is essential fuel. to do ANYTHING in the world, you need energy. it is, along with time, the most valuable resource you have -- simultaneously renewable, and... not. mysterious and practical. measurable -- and not.


here’s a very relevant side tangent I wrote a year ago:
a moody creative’s guide to work overhwhelm

 

what do I mean by energy?

here's my simple definition of energy.

your energy = intention + force.

  1. intention: your desire or vision, your emotion, commitment, or feeling behind anything.
  2. force: this could be creative, mental, emotional, physical, sexual -- the output, work, or labor that makes things happen. and the aftermath of that force. (ie, how much life force you're left with after you've expended energy.)

outside energy = other people, environment, creations, weather, places, sensorial input of any sort.

energy is constantly a dynamic flow between inner + outer energy.

I'll explore this more deeply in later posts.

 

my personal experiences with energy

I want to preface this entire series by saying that I'm someone who has: (a) struggled a lot with feeling limited by my energy, AND (b) experienced the power of energy in magnetizing what I desire.

how I feel limited by energy (-)

  • overall, I've struggled a lot with "energetic boundaries" -- and in subconsciously taking on the emotions and energies of other people, environment, and things. sometimes it feels like I'm semi-translucent; absorbing energy through my pores. it takes me time to wash off the energy I carry with me, and to separate what energy is and isn't mine.
  • as a result, in the outside world, I feel like my energetic reserve depletes itself faster than others.
  • my energy has low tolerance for anything I don't fully enjoy. in the past, this lead to a lot of radical changes in the way I do marketing, and how I enact boundaries with the world. this also means: limiting social engagements. parties. crowded places.
  • I'm extremely sensitive to the energy of my clients -- hence it's become more and more important for me to work with the right clients. I've come to understand that I can't do more than 1-2 meetings a week, without feeling depleted and drained. Sometimes, service-based work can feel like a heavy load on my system - because it requires a LOT of energy.
  • Over the years, my source of energy has feels inconsistent, even volatile at times. some days I can work obsessively, like a storm, for 10 hours without feeling tired. other days, I get distracted and emotionally thrown off after 2 hours, and need to take the day to lay face down on my bed, like a broken egg.
  • I used to deal a lot with anxiety, and emotional tsunamis so bad I'd feel wiped out for days, or in the worst cases, weeks. in those days, my focus felt fragile. my energy was sticky -- dragging me down, and keeping me in dark holes.
 

how I feel power in my energy (+)

  • I have a vast, seemingly infinite flow of psychic energy — that is, emotions, thoughts, ideas, inspirations — which easily translate into projects or creations. even when they ebb and flow, the flow usually come in torrents. these days, my creativity feels like a deluge, a volcano, or a bomb. that being said, it definitely took deliberate effort and practice to get there.
  • when I'm truly inspired, or in the flow of creation, I find myself with an enormous, almost inhuman reserve of energy and stamina. I can create for hours and hours without losing focus -- instead, I feel nourished and energized by the work, rather than depleted; like it's a self-sustaining loop, and I could keep creating forever.
  • I've definitely personally experienced the mind-body connection through energy healing.
  • all the significant things in my life have come to me in strange, spontaneous, unexpected ways -- usually a few days or weeks after I've set the intention -- that is, channeling my energy into a specific desire. this includes personal things: like my dog, my partner, and my apartment. but it also includes receiving client inquiries, and business opportunities. they call this "manifestation." I call it energy work.
 

energy as an living entity inside of me

if anything, my energy feels like it has its own personality, preferences, and desires. it's an immaterial presence that lives inside of me -- a nebulous force that my body is the vessel for.

when I go against its wishes, it lets me know through making me feel utterly depleted and exhausted. its resistance, its joys, its movement, its urges, its rhythms -- these are all ways in which my energy speaks to me.

my core conviction is that my energy -- when fully expressed and listened to -- will always guide me to the right paths, opportunities, and things.

 

questions I'd like to explore in future writings

  • what gives me energy? what depletes it?
  • what are the different forms of energy?
  • how do I know what my energy needs?
  • what are some practices of attuning to, and sensing into energy?
  • how do I decipher what my energy is asking of me?
  • how do I know where to direct my energy -- especially when it comes to work?
  • how do I balance my internal energy and external needs (relationships, money, work, etc)?
  • how do I use my energy as a guiding compass in my creative & artist practice?
  • how do I use my energy as a guiding compass in business?
  • how do I use my energy as a guiding compass in big life decisions, overall?
  • what is the difference between energy + intuition?
  • how do I play with energy? contain it, or expand it?
  • how do I magnetize my desires, dreams, and goals -- with energy?
  • what would it be like for my energy to be totally uninhibited, spontaneous, and free?
 

End note:

a lot of my curiosity and dedication to exploring energy also comes from Human Design. I'm a self-projected Projector, and I definitely feel the limitations of my energy -- AND its power for magnetizing what I want and need, without me going out into the world to get it.

I'll look forward to returning to this topic again soon.

Full Circle

eight years ago, when I was a repressed creative in my twenties, I wrote down this advice from the illustrator keri smith (definitely click on that link!!!)

“Do the work that gives you energy.”

I return to this now, as if coming full circle.

 
 
 
creative practice, wellbeingKening Zhuenergy studies