what to do with beauty

you can learn a lot about a man by what he does with beauty. correction: you can learn a lot about any person by what they do with beauty. do they simply sit and observe it? do they pose for a selfie with it? post it online so that everyone will know? try to convince it to bend to their will? attempt to possess it, to consume it, as much as possible? are they hesitant, nervous about approaching it? anxious about its departure? do they judge, compare, or try to analyze it?

or, do they even see beauty? do they even notice?

yesterday, I walked alone for the first time from my house in rural Japan, past rice paddies, across a bridge over a lake — and found myself inside the infinite embrace of sakura in full bloom. that day, I was feeling a lot of indescribable feelings, and I didn’t know what to do, so I left my house and set out for the blank horizon in mid-day, towards this row of sakura trees lining a long, straight road.

I stood there with my face to the sky, and the blossoms bathed me with their sound, their intricate flutter. when I approached the tree trunks, I heard them speaking to me. dear kening, they said. do you know what to do with beauty?

I think so, I replied. I savor it. with my entire being. I make art from it, and share it with other human beings to see, and to feel, hoping someone will feel it deeply as I do.

yes, they replied. but do you know how to savor beauty — your own? do you see the flowers in full bloom inside yourself? do you see? always?

I sat down in between two tree trunks and leaned against the sakura tree, and thought about this question. cars passed behind me like gales of wind. in a few more days, the sakura will be falling to the earth. dispersing, until next year. and I will still be sitting.