拿得起放得下 | chinese love advice

some recent love advice from my chinese mother (shit, sometimes i forget i’m chinese until i see that i have a chinese mother…)

拿得起放得下

literally translated in english: it means “(you can) pick it up, and (you can) put it down.” in other words: there is nothing you cannot afford to lose.

if you picked it up, you can put it down.

if you can’t put it down, don’t pick it up.

so life is just repetition of picking something up — putting something down.

when i hear this phrase, i think about the literal physical action. i can practice it with a glass of water, with something I want, exquisite and overpriced at the store — but can i practice it with the most intoxicating drug in the world, when it’s 2am, and i’m sad and addicted as hell? of course i can. perhaps not, initially, the heart — the heart is like a raging lunatic who will sob and bang on all the doors until the entire house shakes. but the body can go through its familiar motions: eat, sleep, walk, move, breathe. the soul can wander to new places, new coastlines. the mind can execute new intentions. and eventually, life moves on. i did and i will. again and again.